Saturday, October 25, 2008
For Of Such Is The Kingdom Of Heaven
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2008 06:02 PM, CDT
Thursday evening and I just got home. Doing my usual routine. Get the mail, say hello to the kitties, and seeing if I have any email or posts on caring bridge. This site has really been a light in my darkest of days. Seeing the video posted by Aaron on Youtube (Tribute to Erin Page, please watch it!) really made my day Sunday! I wouldn't have known about it if it hadn't been for Caring bridge and his momma posting a note here. I'm sorry I didnt get to see everyone at Erin's birthday celebration but all i would have been doing is crying and I'm tired of crying. I appreciate Kimberly and her entire family doing that to honor her. I was looking at Erin's pictures on Kimberly's myspace when she was a little girl and it's hard to think of her being gone from this earth. I wonder if it ever will get any easier? I miss her so much and I dread the coming holidays. Sometimes I sit and try to run the last 7 or 8 months through my head. Trying to remember the last things Erin and I talked about or where we ate together last or where we had went the weekend before she got sick and endless other things. I dont wanna lose my memories. I dont wanna forget one thing about my life with Erin. I cherish every memory I have with her whether it's good or bad. I remember carrying her out of the room into the hall so everyone could see her when she was born and i remember praying over her in nashville when she was leaving us to go and be with Her Lord Jesus. I think about the last fifteen years and how my life has changed and where i've came from. In some ways I have advanced, in some I have stayed in the same place and some I have probably regressed. I am honored to be erin's dad. That's the best part of my life past present and future. I love her more than any other thing or person in this world. I know you're supposed to love God more but is that humanly possible? I guess what I've written may not make alot of sense to anyone but me but it does me good to put my feelings down here. I appreciate everyone who visits this site and if you have any pictures of Erin from any time in her life I'd love to have them. you can send them to me at email@example.com. I'll be sure to make sure Kimberly gets them too! Erin, daddy loves you!
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2008 01:46 AM, CDT
Hello Everybody! It is about 2am on Saturday, October 25th. I can't sleep, however that is not unusual these days. Everytime I lay down and try to go to sleep, I think of my baby girl. I replay everything that happened from the first moment my baby girl got sick until the day at Vandy when we had to make the choice to let our baby girl go to her Heavenly Home!! I will never forget Dr. Fleming standing next to me, putting his stethoscope on Erin's chest, putting his hand on my shoulder, looking me in the eyes, and saying, "She's gone"! That was the worst moment of my life! I know it was the moment of Erin's going home. But, it was the first moment of mine and our whole families lives changing forever! I love to hear the stories about Erin and how her life and death have changed so many lives. It continues to amaze me how my precious angel has changed so many lives including everyones' in our families. Erin's passing and testimony have brought so many people closer to each other and so many lives to Jesus. I don't really know what I want to say but I am hurting! We are all hurting! I so appreciate all of the compassion, love, caring, and prayers we have received. I know you continue to lift our families up in prayer. I thank you for that. I ask that you continue to do so as we get ready to face the holidays without our baby, our angel! Erin left so many people behind who ache for her physically. We know that she is in sheer paradise, while we wait here on Earth to join her. Please continue to lift us all up in your prayers. Chris, Carolyn, Brian, and myself as her parents. All of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and her friends who continue to ache. Thanks for listening (reading) as I vent. It helps us to know that people are there and that people care.
I love you Erin Michelle Page!!!!! Your Mommy