Thursday, February 28, 2008

Prayer Seems Pointless

Prayer - intercessory prayer that is, what is the point? God's gonna do what He is gonna do.

Todd and I went for tea at lunch today. When I asked him about joining me for Good Friday service you'd have thought I told him I just murdered someone! He looked like he was going to vomit! I am not kidding. He said NO. He looked really weird - his eyes looked totally suspicious and for the first time he looked like he disliked me very much. I said, "Todd, please, it's literally two hours out of your life - please join me." He just laughed - not at me but just about the whole idea - as if it were the craziest thing ever asked of him. I would have had more "success" if I had asked him to bungee jump off a cliff into freezing cold water! It really shook me up inside but I remained calm on the surface. What I saw in his eyes was utter, complete REJECTION of God and anything associated with God (eg any church, book, bible... you name it - if it "smells" of God, Todd rejects it). He doesn't need God or want Him....he doesn't believe - he is totally closed to the idea - end of story. As far as he is concerned if others want to believe in God and go to church good for them. There was more but frankly I don't need to share it all here. I saw something today I don't think I've ever saw before - spiritual blindness and hardness of heart to a degree that even God can't penetrate it. Does that statement shock you? It shouldn't. God can not violate a person's free will and Todd has made a very, very firm choice. How sad and unfair....here is a person who doesn't understand he has chosen Hell - he has rejected Life. I cried when I got home tonight - then I went back out into the sub-zero temperatures and skated for 1.5 hrs....like a mad woman....I had to get my frustration out. I'm very sad about this - very disappointed that all the prayers people have prayed counted for nothing as far as I'm concerned.

What is the point in praying for people like him? They are so hard hearted. I am done praying for Todd - there is no point. He is God's problem - not mine. I did my part and asked Todd to church - I am done now. Prayer has done nothing but set me up for a great disappointment.

Julie (LM)

Note from the Pilgrim Pals facilitator, David Fisher: The purpose of the PILGRIM PALS site is to provide a forum where our members (pilgrims) can pray for each other and be vulnerable, open and honest with one another. This is meant to be a safe place! Our special pal, Julie or Little Missionary as she is affectionately known, has bared her soul again. Thanks, Julie! I encourage other pilgrims to do the same. We will love you unconditionally, withhold judgment and offer encouragement and hope regardless of what you write. ~ David

6 comments:

Felisol said...

Dear Julie Lm,
I am sorry that Todd rejected the clean hearted offer you brought him.
I, however, strongly deny that this is the end of God's offer to Todd.
Praying is never pointless, we have built our lives on that fact that God hears every little sigh that is lifted up to him.
Prayers never expire on date either.
They stay alive.
Terry's prayers for her Dad, not a word is said in vain. God will never seize to call on Dad Golden. Our 87 year old neighbor in Norway is a prayerchild too.
Even though his mom died forty years ago, her prayers for her son is still working. I never doubt on that, but add my own prayers as well.
As will I also continue to pray for Todd's redemption.
We cannot dictate God. We can only continue to pray. So we will.
Yours Felisol

byhisgracealone said...

Yes, it does at times Julie, when we don't seem to get the answers WE want. But this much I know ....I was once a Todd and I hated, despised, abhored anyone asking me to do anything remotely associated with God, church or prayer. Now with that said, I encourage you...to pray without ceasing and never, ever, ever say you will not pray for someone...I am a prayer warrior...it is my passion for people...it is my passion for Christ...and it is what placed me in the hands of a loving God...that people never stopped praying for me...which counted for everything....God is not done with him yet.

hugs to you
because I know you are hurting
and I love you
donna

Goldwings said...

Who knows, perhaps down the road, he will experience something in his life that will cause him to soften his heart. Only God knows what the future holds.

If, and when, that happens, he may actually come looking for you - as you represent religion to him.

Just because you didn't get the reply that you would have hoped for, doesn't mean NEVER...it means NOT YET. Remember, God's ways are not our ways...let Him guide the way. The timing will never be wrong.

Terry said...

Dear Little Missionary Julie..
Since I read your post about Todd last night, I have been thinking everytime I awoke about Todd.
I kept thinking about how he reacted and I kept thinking about the apostle Paul.

Acts 9
1And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest,

2And desired of him letters to Damascus to the synagogues, that if he found any of this way, whether they were men or women, he might bring them bound unto Jerusalem.

3And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven:

4And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?

5And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

6And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.

See Julie, we may feel like giving up but the Lord doesn't. We don't know what is going on in Todd's heart or maybe we do in a way because we, ourselves went through the same struggling before we were saved.
As long as there is life we can't give up on praying for dear Todd.
At the seme time we will be praying for you too Little Missionary Julie because I know that we can all feel your heart break..

Oh by the way this Paul was the very one that said years later;

1 Timothy 1:15
This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.

How great is THAT Little Missioinary, Julie?
Love Terry

Vicki said...

Julie, I'm so sorry. Thanks for letting us know how it went.

I was once someone who detested any mention of church or God, and thought I had no need for Him. Little did I know that certain people were praying for me. We pray fervently, and trust God with the outcome. Knowing God's ways will always baffle us. But we can be assured of His great love and grace and mercy.

I appreciate that you've opened your heart here and will continue to pray for Todd...and for you. God has His perfect time table that is not our own and we will just trust Him to soften Todd's heart.

We love you!
Vicki

Vicki said...

<< He is God's problem - not mine. I did my part and asked Todd to church - I am done now. Prayer has done nothing but set me up for a great disappointment.>>>

We will gladly stand in the gap for Todd and maybe it's easier for us since we have no emotional investment with him. You're right, he's God's problem to save- not yours. But since we're called to pray without ceasing (even though we often feel like stopping)we will keep stirring up the heavenlies on Todd's behalf:-)

God is not finished with Todd, nor any of us.

love,
Vicki