worst week....

I'm having the worst week - it's one thing after another and I just can't take another disappointment! Don't know why I'm bothing to post....deperation I guess. I'm just so tired of all the hurtful things people do.

The week started with me having to put my bunny down. Lord this apartment is empty! Then the next day, already sad about Noah, I find out I didn't win the competition for two positions - two! I didn't get either one! They said my skills are not current enough - another slap and I'm down futher. Then I meet T. (remember him) - he sees me (two feet from me) and turns away without a "hello" - ugh - guess my invitation to church a couple weeks ago really turned him off! We aren't friends anymore I guess. If that weren't bad enough, today my boss asks to meet with me for an update on a couple projects - next thing I know I'm being shown a whole list (a list!!) of things I did wrong recently or haven't been keeping up on - one of which was I didn't order chair mats from Grand & Toy for the admin staff....earth shattering eh? Apparently, the other admins were angry about this. I asked one of them at the end of the day - she denied being upset about a chair mat! Who knows who to believe!? I was off sick the other admins were apparently scrambling and upset about stuff I left - my flu wasn't exactly planned! The other admins didn't indicate one little thing to me about any issues from last week so I felt blind-sided and guilty about being sick! What else was discussed behind my back I wonder? Not to mention I feel totally defeated - can't do anything correctly - this has happened a few times in the last year - out of the blue - never are the good things pointed out - I'd say 98% of the time my work is done and done well - but no credit for that! I walk on "egg shells" half the time...never knowing when I'll be in "trouble" for something. And that added pressure causes me to make more mistakes! Also, I am the only admin out of 3 that ever hears the negative....the other two are praised all the time and in front of me. I'm I jealous? Perhaps - but it's so much more than that - I am a good worker and yes, I make mistakes....welcome to the human race. I have no problem admitting a mistake but it's the way it's approached by my boss and the fact that there is only emphasis on the negative the majority of the time. I've had women supervisors before and I find them so cold and calculating for the most part. I want a man for a boss next time!

Pray for me please - I hate life right now! I'm so discouraged.

J (LM)