Saturday, June 28, 2008
From Erin's Mom Kimberly
First off, I want to let everyone know that there will be a deadication service for Erin's marker and bench on Sunday, July 13th at 2:00p.m. Erin's bench will be opened and this will give everyone an opportunity to place cards and letters to Erin inside the bench before it is sealed. We hope to see all of her friends and loved ones there.
Now, I just want to share my heart. Shortly after Erin died, someone shared a verse with me. It was Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not; for I am with thee;be not dismayed, for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." And Oh how God has been my strength and held me up. Not just me but all of us. I have claimed this scripture and there have been times in the past few months when I've had to remind Satan that God had me in His right hand and for him to back off. There are many times that I sit and recall all of the things that took place druing those very long 5 weeks. Somehting I have been thinking of alot lately was the moment we made the decision to let Erin go home with her Savior and Heavenly Father. I will always believe that Erin knew she was going home. I feel as if Erin saw Jesus and the angels beckoning her home. The doctors had told us that she would probably struggle a little after she was unhooked from ECMO but she did not seem to struggle at all. I was standing there holding my baby and talking to her when she took her last breath here on Earth and she was peaceful and seemed perfectly at rest. Of course she was, she went to see her Father forever. I figured I would be completely hysterical and crazy when Erin left us. However, I felt like Erin was where she wanted and needed to be. I know she was healthy and at peace and whole again! Don't get me wrong, I hated it for me and my family but not for her. My heart broke in that moment and still does, but Erin is perfect. When Erin asked Jesus into her heart He answered her and lived there until he called her home. Erin lived a great 14 years here on Earth. God used my baby girl in a very remarkable and powerful way! There is a line in the song "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns that says, He give and takes away. He gave Erin to me for a little while and then he chose to take her away from me and let her return to Him. I have been angry, I have questioned, I have doubted, I have feared, and I was doubtful. But, I am always reminded that even though I cannot see or do not know God's purpose that doesn't mean He doesn't have one. I know that my God is faithful no matter what the circumstnances are and that nothing that happens is an accident. Erin had no control over how long her life lasted but she did have control over and choice about how she lived that life and she chose to live it for God and to make a difference for Him! I haven felt all alone at times and like I had no reason to continue. But, I'm not alone and God has me here for a reason. I know my God hasn't abandonded me but he has given me the opportunity to abondon myself to Him and that is what I choose to do. I want everything about me to be about HIM! Thanks again to EVERYONE who has supported us and continue to do so. God is great and I so appreciate all of you! Kimberly