Today we drove away from our Cavan home for the last time. Carol and I had gone in separate vehicles so we didn't get to talk about our feelings as we pulled away. Maybe that's a good thing! The pain was almost unbearable. I didn't want to talk to anybody for fear of hearing pat answers.Tonight was the year-end program at our children's Christian school. It was a great evening but I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to talk. Just wanted to bury my head...and cry.
I'll be alright though. The sovereign God of the universe is also this pilgrim's heavenly Father and He chooses to draw me close and whisper "peace". What a tender, gracious Father to those who grieve the loss of things we deem important!
Tonight I feel like I'm slipping into the shadows. Even if I do, He will go with me there and bring me back into His glorious Light.
Thus...the following poem came easily this evening. Please pray for Carol and me. Carol is experiencing her own grief and loss. We perceive things differently, grieve in different ways but both feel the same pain. Thanks for praying, precious Pilgrim Pals.
SHADOWS
Darkness surrounds me
Discouragement buffets me
Despair is waiting just 'round the next bend,
Can't seem to shake it
Don't want to fake it
Slipping into the shadows
Where fear bares its teeth.
Nothing excites me
Everything frightens me
When will this cloudy sky turn into blue?
Frustrated, angry
Wondering...why me
Groping round in the shadows
God's hiding from me.
This is the heartcry
Of many who pass by
How can I ever escape from this pain?
Father can see you
Jesus will free you
From dark, fearful shadows and
Fill you with Light.
- David W. Fisher - June 16th, 2008
Note: Please keep Terry in your prayers this evening too. She is not feeling well. THANK YOU!
3 comments:
Dear Pilgrim David,
Thank you for sharing your heartache. It may sound strange but it is encouraging for me to know that other Christians experience such deep sorrow too. It makes me feel less alone. And, hearing this from a man is...well it is refreshing frankly. Your poem really touched my heart - what raw emotion! Although my sorrow comes from something different than yours, the emotions are very similar. So I find it very easy to lift you and Carol in my prayers.
Love and prayers,
Julie
Julie:
What a quick, encouraging response to the baring of my soul.
You are a special friend and I praise God for you and for your partnership with Pilgrim Pals.
As you go through your own trials I am with you and I will continue to lift you before the Father.
Be encouraged this evening, special friend.
Your name is written on the palm of the Father's hand.
Much love in Christ,
David
Dear Pilgrim David and Carol,
may God bless your exit and your entrance as he has promised after his word. He is there right by your side and will lead you and comfort you from now on and forever.
Psalm 46
1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
From David
and Felisol
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