Eleven days and I'll be in the air on my way to Mexico City for a week of missionary work a garbage dump and at least one day in an orphanage - November 11 to 17. I often go through Satanic attacks before a mission trip, (no big surprise), and sometimes while on the trip.
In fact, two things are going on right now: 1) I have a bit of a cold/flu - so pray that I heal completely before leaving 2) I am battling a lot of negative thoughts lately - (eg God isn't pleased with you Julie and therefore He will not answer your prayers). I have been praying for evidence that my friend Todd is seeking the Lord - nothing - I wait for Todd to ask me for coffee to talk more about the Lord - nothing - I am resisting the temptation to contact him because ...darn it...I don't want to push it - I want Todd to seek the Lord!! Nothing. Now, perhaps more importantly I've been praying for a deeper desire for the Lord in my own heart! The opposite seems to be happening. I find myself comparing my walk now with my walk about 11 years ago. I had so much more vigor and trust in the Lord. Now I just feel like He is angry at me or disappointed in me all the time. I keep thinking perhaps I've sinned one too many times and He is fed up! I know in my head - logically - that isn't true based on the revelation of who God is in Scripture - but my heart feels entirely different. I've confessed any known sins.....I confess to you my friends as Scripture calls us to do - lately I've been on a nasty slop of telling a few lies here and there to my co-workers - lies just to make myself sound better - how stupid eh? I sit there listening to their stories after a weekend and think - how boring my life is! I have nothing interesting to say so I make up things! I confessed this to God and asked for the grace to stop! Then I thought, "what if I am still harbouring bitterness and unforgiveness towards a couple people who deeply hurt me in 2006?" I confessed it and begged God to help me - cleanse me. Still I feel God isn't pleased! I hate feeling this way. I think some of this is based on the fact that I could never please my parents as a child - nothing I did was acknowledged as good - even when I did something nice like bringing home some artwork from school, they didn't fuss over it. I think it was mainly the way of that generation - my parents are almost 80. But that can't be it entirely because my grandmother, whom I was close to, fussed all the time over my artwork.
Please pray for me pilgrims.
Julie (Little Missionary)
6 comments:
Hello, Little Missionary!
I have been praying and thinking of you a lot lately. Thank you for sharing, and for your openness and honesty. It is interesting that whenever I am going to embark on an encouraging or evangelistic project, I feel the attavk of the enemy, too...before, during, after...it is difficult. I will be praying for you even more often. Be strong in the Lord, and in the Power of His Might...(Eph. 6:10)...There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but God who is faithful will not suffer you to be temoted above that which you are able to bear, but will with it, also make a way of escape. (1 Cor. 10:13.
Have you memorized scriptures? Like verses of encouragement? Try repeating them to yourself when Satan attacks.
Praying for you,
Your sister in Christ
Dear Little Missionary,
I think you are right in your self analysis, about the evil's attack, the scares you got in 2006 and the hurtful way you were treated as a child.
That be understood, but never undone.
Our father, God, has the power of healing and protecting you.
He actually has promised to stay with us all the days of our lives.
It takes courage to embark on a new mission tour when you know what and who you are up against.
I admire you for doing it in spite of your knowledge. That's real courage.
And I know our redeemer lives, and that you are safe in his hands.
May God bless you and go with you, always.
From Felisol
Thank you for your words - both of you!
I spent this afternoon in long prayer and feel that as long as I cling to the Father of Truth, the father of lies has no ground to stand on! A Scripture the Lord gave me today was Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."
Praise Jesus for our freedom in Him!
Julie (LM)
Bless you Julie...Love Terry
Julie, dear friend:
You can count on my/our prayers as you make your journey. Satan attacks me furiously before each chapel that I conduct with the Peterborough Petes. What a liar and destroyer hs is!
We are standing with you, Little Missionary!
In His love,
David, the Pilgrim
Little Missionary, I will pray for you too.
Mrs. Jim and I just returned from a mission trip in Guatemala at an orphange there.
Those kids need you so badly, I hope and pray you can have a longer stay at the orphanage.
Mrs. Jim says we gave and we took. We gave those kids Christian love, clothes for their bodies, hot water for their showers, and some very nice Bible classes. There was so much more too.
We took their Christian love back with us. We took memories of little children who really don't have a whole lot of hope in this world. We took a better understanding of God's love, that is so good, his love is evident there in all that poverty and abandon just as it can be in a mega-church someplace (or like on this blog).
Lastly with all praying for you and the mission, Satan doesn't have a chance.
We had so many people praying for our effort. Not once did I feel Satan's presence or any evidence that he dared poke his terrible head into the work or the other's lives at this time.
And yes, keep the Scripture you have memorized very much in mind. And have your Bible ready for more Scripture. Satan detests God's word ("flee from me").
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