I was unable to finish the week at work.
I feel like the lamb in this picture - on the side of a cliff, in danger of falling, entangled in weeds. I'm not sure I see the Good Shepherd coming to my rescue yet....perhaps He is making His way to the "cliff".
My anxiety level got out of control. So, I'm officially on leave now until mid-July. My manager gave me a so called "pep" talk this morning, but I have to tell you it felt more like a lecture. He rambled on and on for about 20 minutes.
My biggest fear that I'm bringing to the Lord is, what if I never recover from this condition?(post traumatic stress disorder). What if I can't function in the work world anymore? I do believe in my heart of hearts there is really only one place I will truly shine for Jesus - on the mission field. I am much more comfortable in a garbage dump in Mexico or in a jungle village in Guatemala - it's who I am in Christ. But that is a distant dream for now. I bought a condo that I'm moving to the end of June - I have to work!! Maybe that wasn't the wisest decision! I'm second guessing everything. How will the next month and a half unfold for me? Only God knows - only He can Heal me. I will be seeking Him with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind. He promises that if we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him. "I will be found by you, declares the Lord...." Jeremiah 29 vs 14
Julie (Little missionary)