Sunday, August 26, 2007

Didn't Make it to the Lord's House


Sorry to report folks, but I couldn't get myself out of bed this morning for church. I just couldn't move this morning - I lay there like a zombie. I just get so hopeless on weekends and figure what's the point of going to church - it's even more lonely there so I might as well just stay home. In fact, for me right now church is the loneliest place on the planet.

Heavenly Father please send me someone - a friend or two - soon in this new church! I want to get plugged into a group - God help me! I know you are "rebuilding" this temple and I'm trying to be patient and endure the pain! But it's so hard Lord - my heart is so heavy and it's been heavy for the last 15 months! How much more can I endure - not much unless you continue to infuse me with Grace. And most importantly, dear God please remove all desire in me that wants to "chase" after Todd! I know he is not right for me. Jesus I need Your Grace big time to stop contacting Todd and to quit flirting with him! I can't seem to stop on my own power - I've tried and I run back to Todd - chasing a dream which is not your dream for me Lord! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus I am pleading with you today - that this week all desire for Todd would be gone!


Signed,

Your desperate daughter!!

J (LM)

10 comments:

donna said...

Oh Julie...you make me cry...you just don't know how much we are alike....in our hurts and our struggles....I haven't been to church either...and I just can't bring myself to get plugged in again...I am a member of a church...yet it is those signs of rejection that seep into my heart and keep me home....and I don't have the energy to put forth right now...my excuses go on and on forever....it is such a long story too long for the comment section. And I know God desires me to be in fellowship.....and He keeps tugging at my heart, but I just won't budge...it is like I have been paralyzed... we could pray more for each other during the week....do you have my email addy?...lets try to encourage each other...and talk during the week....you let me know

but until then, I will begin right now......

hugs
donna

hebrews 11:1 said...

Hi, Pals!

I'm just getting on here and I see I've missed out on dozens of posts and a ton of fun last night. I was meeting with another family (believers), and then this morning we had friends over...

Oh, Julie! What can I say! I can tell you I'm praying for you, or that you SHOULD go to church...but those would be empty words. Is there by ay chance a home church group SOMEWHERE in Ottawa? Because, having home-churched for over 14 years, I can tell you it is TOTALLY different from the institutional church...well, maybe as different as the group wants it to be, but in our case, it was VERY diferrent. We are family, we share eachothers burdens, we meet in eachothers homes, we serve eachother, bring our own meals to share together...actually currently this is a little strained, and we are not sharing a meal, :( as the other family (who also brings with them a friend/extended family occasionally) is attending a congregation in the morning/afternoon, and meeting with us in the evening.

I have a little suggestion when it comes to your thoughts...remember the verse
2 Cor 10:5
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

I was advised before, that whenever I have a thought concerning someone that I shouldn't have, I should take it captive, and bring it to God...easier said than done, but I have found that

it is very hard to sin

-if you are reading the Bible (keep a NT/Psalms with you and open it when you have a struggle)

-when you are talking to God

-when you are worshipping God

-(and this one is for those who have the gift of tongues) when you are praying in the Spirit.

It is very easy to sin
-when you are feeling sorry for yourself

-when you are thinking of the lyrics to an ungodly song

-when you are lettng your mind wander instead of putting on the mind of Christ

-when you have not put on your full armour

-and certainly if you have not spent at least 15 minutes soaking up the Word of God at the beginning of your day, and talking with Him.

I hope I don't sound preachy, because I'm just a youngster here, but I am sharing from my limited experience in dealing with fleshly thoughts....


I'll be praying for you!
LPP

Terry said...

Oh I feel so bad too Little Missionary, Julie.
I never went through being rejected in church and I think that is one of the reasons I never left.
When Mom Golden started to take us children to Sunday School to the Lorne Avenue Gospel Hall in Trenton, Ontario, Betty was 8, I was 6, Teddy was 5 and baby brother Gary was 4.
When we moved out west we went to Brandon Gospel Hall.
The Christians were so good to us there too.
When when we moved to Ottawa we went to River Rd Gospel Hall where Mom and Betty and I were saved in 1967.
By that time there were 9 kids in the family, although Betty was living in Trenton by that time and was going to Trenton Bible Chapel.
We were always treated so kindly and that was such a big help!
We were picked on at school so much and that is where I felt rejected and lonely. There is not a worse feeling in the world than feeling rejected Julie..I feel so bad for you and just understand a little bit of what you are feeling!!
You are a treasure and someone is just not seeing it!!..Love Terry

Terry said...

Oh by the way Little Missionary, Julie...Take Donna up on your email addy. She has helped me in the past and she will understand and help you too...Love Terry

Julie said...

Julie:

I will keep you in my prayers even more this week! You have mentioned that you have been talking with the pastor at your church...do you feel comfortable expressing this to him? Perhaps he could help you meet people who could be of help to you...he probably knows somebody who is maybe your age, or who would be a good mentor as you get involved in the church...just a thought.

I've been where you are...I was new to Moncton, and couldn't find a church where I "fit in" and so I spent many a Sunday morning at "Bedside Baptist". But you know what I learned? The more Sundays you spend away from any church, the more the devil gets at you as the weeks go by. That is why God wants us in fellowship with other Christians on Sunday morning.

If you don't go to church, Satan will use that against you, and he will think that he has won. Now I know you're still in fellowship with God, but you REALLY need the fellowship with other people. Especially since you have a lot to give...you have given so much to all of us on here...more than you probably know, and there are other people that need your ministry, your testimony, your fellowship.

It's hard...I know, but what helped me was just biting the bullet and going...and once I found "my" church home, I knew it. And I made great friendships that I still have to this day.

Ask God to bring people along your way...He will! Ask Him for a friend...just start with one, and maybe see what groups/Bible studies are going on at your church and think about joining a group.

Julie (aka Little Missionary) said...

Hi Donna, yes I'd love for you to email me: noahforan@yahoo.ca

Love, Julie (LM)

Julie (aka Little Missionary) said...

Thank you all for your suggestions - I know they all make sense - it's just that my brain isn't quite engaged this weekend. With your prayers I know it will get better.

Julie (LM)

passing-thru said...

Julie Lil M - thankyou for posting your heartfelt thoughts , its easy for me to think and say , well do this and that and all will be well- but that isn't always the case - with these godly women and good advice like attending church , with them praying , emailing and encouraging U - U will make it - and one day again serving in a missionary trip that U love so much -- ps. I WANT TO THANK A CERTAIN PERSON for reminding me of the TENDERNESS OF CHRIST --

Terry said...

Look at that Little Missionary Julie...I think that you have lots of friends here so next time you are feeling low don't make yourself a sttranger to all of us, eh?
We will listen and we will pray, just as you have listened and prayed for us!
We all have the Lord and we all need each other..that's for sure!!!!Love Terry

What's that Passing-thru talking about??
If there were ever a couple of tender loving hearts ,it is the Pilgrim and him..
I mean look at this...Two men among so many ladies!!

passing-thru said...

LOL TERRY ---
Making me smile ---

Lord Bless the pals and remember Arlene