Sunday, August 26, 2007
Didn't Make it to the Lord's House
Sorry to report folks, but I couldn't get myself out of bed this morning for church. I just couldn't move this morning - I lay there like a zombie. I just get so hopeless on weekends and figure what's the point of going to church - it's even more lonely there so I might as well just stay home. In fact, for me right now church is the loneliest place on the planet.
Heavenly Father please send me someone - a friend or two - soon in this new church! I want to get plugged into a group - God help me! I know you are "rebuilding" this temple and I'm trying to be patient and endure the pain! But it's so hard Lord - my heart is so heavy and it's been heavy for the last 15 months! How much more can I endure - not much unless you continue to infuse me with Grace. And most importantly, dear God please remove all desire in me that wants to "chase" after Todd! I know he is not right for me. Jesus I need Your Grace big time to stop contacting Todd and to quit flirting with him! I can't seem to stop on my own power - I've tried and I run back to Todd - chasing a dream which is not your dream for me Lord! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus I am pleading with you today - that this week all desire for Todd would be gone!
Your desperate daughter!!