03.AugStop the world..
I haven’t been feeling any better (I spent most of the day in bed yesterday while my mom came over). She made me an oncology appointment here at 21 Century oncology and they want to rule out brain swelling (I personally don’t think that is the cause, but better to be safe) So they have ordered an MRI for Monday. Its a really weird feeling, it is like everytime I sit up or lay down I feel like the earth is falling out from underneath me. My oncologist said that I had right side weakness, which Ive had since surgery and that my eyes “twitch”. That is what caused her to order the MRI.
So there is an update, I probably wont update again until after the MRI. I personally think that I pushed myself too hard last weekend (Awards Banquet on Friday, Wedding on Saturday, Church on Sunday) and I am paying for it now. Keep me in your prayers on Monday, not just for the swelling to NOT to be there, but that the tumor is completely gone, radiated, cursed at the root, stomped on, chemically and surgically altered etc…. nothing there but tumor bed.
I am alot more anxious than I am fearful. This will be the first MRI I have had since treatment and I am really curious to see if the treatment worked. There is part of me that doesn’t want to know and I am really not sure why. It is not that I am fearful, it really isn’t. MRI’s will be a regular part of the rest of my life, yet one good one doesn’t necessarily mean the waiting is over, it just starts over from there. Yet I know who holds my future, and He hasn’t let go of me yet….
For the Spirit which you have now received is not a spirit of slavery to put you once more in bondage to fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption the Spirit producing sonship in the bliss of which we cry, Abba Father!