Monday, August 20, 2007

Sweet Sadness From The Far Side Of The Sea


SHE'S SPREADING HER WINGS

Nobody was able to explain to me
how unbearable the leaving of one's child hurts.
I've been preparing for this day at least a year now.
Intellectually.
When Serina lay seriously ill in hospital
and last week when all the bad symptoms reemerged,
I told myself, silently,
that if she could only be well enough
to embark on her journey for life and development,
I would only be happy for her.
What a monstrous lie!
The three last nights neither Serina nor I have been able to touch bedsheets until seven in the morning.
(Fooled you, Gunnar!)
This morning they went in a fully stuffed car,
over the Long Mountains, dividing Norway in east and west.
Eight hours drive by good weather and open tunnels.
She took my heart with her.
I've been circling inside and outside our house,
totally numb,
with a lead lump where my soul used to burn.
In my despair
I've telephoned to all the mothers I know of,
who have been in a similar situation.
My sister in law comforted me.
She told, "I'm not saying that my kids are moving.
I tell myself they are away to get some education."
My mother's only words were, "I never get used to it.
It hurts like I'm going to die every time I say goodbye."
Turid said,"Don't you ever dare tell Serina how you feel.
I had three children leaving home in one year.
You knew when she was born, that she was not for keeps."
Theoretically I knew.
Now I just have to find my breath again,
and keep the nightmares from coming true.
In a month she'll be home for autumn vacation.

Felisol......."On the far side of the sea"

7 comments:

Vicki said...

Oh Felisol! The mother's heart in me connects so much to what you're feeling and going through. Having a child grow up and leave the nest leaves us with a deep ache in our heart, that's for sure. I pray the Lord, in His goodness and mercy, will soothe that ache in your heart, calm your fears, and help you release Serina to His protective hand. Thanking God for such a loving relationship with your daughter, trusting He will give you peace as you turn your thoughts to Him. We will pray for Serina, too. I've seen your pictures and she is just precious!

Terry said...

Yes she is Felisol...Praying for her and for you and Gunnar too...Love Terry

Hi Vicki!

hebrews 11:1 said...

Mrs. Ljung,

I pray God comforts your heart and may He keep Serna safe...

Lil Pilgrim Pal


Mrs. Shirkie...You haven't responded concerning your camera? I'm now looking at some really expensive ones, but maybe if you recommend me a better model, it will put some sense in my head about buying one I reall shouldn't...I've been looking at the Canon Rebel XT and Nikon D70...used price, cheapest yet is $450!!!

Pilot Mom said...

Felisol, I certainly can relate to your only child departing for higher education! And on a more recent note, I just said good-bye again yesterday when he left to return to North Carolina. I may not see him until sometime next year.

So while I pray for my son each day I will be praying for Serena also! She is so very precious.

I remember the heart ache but the very best medicine was to be in God's Word and I planned some coffee get togethers with other moms. Keeping busy so I only have time to pray and not to mope always is helpful! :) (((Felisol)))

Terry said...

Little Pilgrim Pal...I have the same kind of camera as Mr. Fisher has.
It is a Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H5.
Now this camera comes in a 10 pix with 15X zoom for about 500 dollars.[mine has a 12X zoom and it is 7.2 pix].
I love it to tell you the truth but Canon is a real good name and so is Nikon...The glass lens make a big difference in picture quality.....Love from Mrs.Shirkie..

passing-thru said...

Thinking of U Felisol -- glad U shared this tender episode of your life

hebrews 11:1 said...

Thank you, Mrs. Shirkie...I found a Nikon D70 for $450 (body only), and my dad thinks I;m nuts...of course, he IS right, I AM nuts!