Monday, August 20, 2007
Sweet Sadness From The Far Side Of The Sea
SHE'S SPREADING HER WINGS
Nobody was able to explain to me
how unbearable the leaving of one's child hurts.
I've been preparing for this day at least a year now.
When Serina lay seriously ill in hospital
and last week when all the bad symptoms reemerged,
I told myself, silently,
that if she could only be well enough
to embark on her journey for life and development,
I would only be happy for her.
What a monstrous lie!
The three last nights neither Serina nor I have been able to touch bedsheets until seven in the morning.
(Fooled you, Gunnar!)
This morning they went in a fully stuffed car,
over the Long Mountains, dividing Norway in east and west.
Eight hours drive by good weather and open tunnels.
She took my heart with her.
I've been circling inside and outside our house,
with a lead lump where my soul used to burn.
In my despair
I've telephoned to all the mothers I know of,
who have been in a similar situation.
My sister in law comforted me.
She told, "I'm not saying that my kids are moving.
I tell myself they are away to get some education."
My mother's only words were, "I never get used to it.
It hurts like I'm going to die every time I say goodbye."
Turid said,"Don't you ever dare tell Serina how you feel.
I had three children leaving home in one year.
You knew when she was born, that she was not for keeps."
Theoretically I knew.
Now I just have to find my breath again,
and keep the nightmares from coming true.
In a month she'll be home for autumn vacation.
Felisol......."On the far side of the sea"